By Emily Robinson, Remain Connected Marketing Director
Google defines anxiety as “a mental condition characterized by excessive apprehensiveness about real or perceived threats, typically leading to avoidance behaviors and often to physical symptoms such as increased heart rate and muscle tension.”
For those of us with an anxious parent, the reality and challenges of navigating someone else’s anxiety can be all too real. Growing up, my mother’s anxiety manifested as an extreme need to control me, irritability at small things, and overall a fearful and unstable lifestyle. She had many fears about my whereabouts, who I was hanging out with, and lashed out in anger when I didn’t see things in the same way as she did.
When I tried to bring up these topics, she was very avoidant. I was told that I was ruining her day, giving her a headache, and that she simply didn’t know the answers to my questions. I resorted to lying about my life and friends in order to avoid the extreme judgment and hostility that I would receive by being truthful. I understood that her need to control came from an irrational fear of me being in danger, but
there was nothing I could do to change her perspective.
Knowing exactly where someone’s behavior is coming from is totally different from 1) Processing the emotions that you need to, and 2) Knowing how to navigate it in your everyday life. I understand that my mother’s childhood, genetics, and life led her to be a very anxious person. This knowledge does not help me process the sadness that I feel because of it, and the ways that her anxiety hurts my life. I had gotten to a place in our relationship where I felt responsible for her well-being and how happy she was every day. I tried to control it, stabilize her, and minimize myself in order to minimize her anxiety. This doesn’t work. A chronically anxious person is not anxious about one particular action, they are anxious about everything and will find a way to be so. Read below for some tips on how to separate your emotions from those of your anxious parent, as well as things to think about in order to stop the cycle of anxiety.
Tips for Living with a Parent who has Anxiety:
Learn to Establish Boundaries
It's crucial to set and maintain healthy boundaries to help protect your emotional well-being. Be clear about what behaviors you will and will not accept, and communicate these boundaries calmly and assertively. Remember, it's okay to say no and to take time for yourself. Do not feel guilty for having needs of your own, even if your parent does not understand them.
Focus On Yourself & Your Goals
Seek Support
Educate Yourself
Encourage Professional Help
Take Space with Love
Breaking the Cycle of Anxiety:
Recognize Patterns & Develop Coping Strategies
Identify the behaviors and situations that trigger your parent's anxiety and your own reactions to them. Understanding these patterns can help you develop strategies to manage your responses and avoid falling into the same cycles. Create a toolbox of coping strategies that you can use when dealing with your parent's anxiety. This might include setting time limits on conversations, practicing affirmations, or using relaxation techniques.
Stay Grounded During Hard Times
Focus on the Present
Celebrate Small Wins
Living with an anxious parent is challenging, but it is possible to navigate this situation with compassion and resilience. You are meant to be seen, heard, respected, and ultimately in charge of your own life. Establish boundaries, seek support, and focus on yourself to maintain your well-being while practicing empathy with your parent. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available. Embrace the journey of understanding and managing anxiety with patience and love.
Disclaimer: Remain Connected Counseling is a team of licesned therapists in Smyrna, Roswell, and Cartersville, GA. Emily, the author of this blog post, is not a licensed therapist. She is our Marketing Director. This is not professional therapeutic advice.
Begin Working With A Therapist in Marietta, Roswell, or Cartersville GA
Please consider reaching out to a qualified therapist. Our team of caring therapists would be honored to offer support with in-person and online services from our Marietta, GA-based practice. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
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Other Services Offered at Remain Connected Counseling
Our team knows you may experience other issues in your life. This is why we are happy to offer a variety of services including teen therapy, anxiety treatment, and EMDR therapy. In addition, we also offer life transitions therapy and depression counseling, and more all under a Christian counseling lens. By using online therapy, these services are available to anyone in Georgia. Learn more about our team of dedicated therapists and contact us
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